Our mother/daughter conference is coming up and it’s really exciting to be doing the 4th annual Fearlessly Female Mother/Daughter conference. We have several vendors/sponsors which enable us to give away scholarship tickets to those that want to come but are unable to afford the tickets.

It’s very important that every woman have a role model to look up to, to have someone to communciate with and this go to Fearlessly Female and check out details

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Events to remember?

Some events are simple and some are complex. Take for instance a ribbon cutting. It’s pretty simple, not a lot of work to do until the day of. Where as a business expo or conference requires lots of preplanning, tons of work and takes much longer to work out so it runs smoothly.

But what makes an event one to remember? What sets it apart from everything else? Sometimes it’s the entertainment, sometimes it’s the food, and sometimes it’s nothing. Sometimes just making sure nothing go wrong makes it an event to remember. Tips to make it go smoothly:

* DATES the most important thing about any event is the date. Make sure your date is not on a holiday, near a huge “town” event like a fair. the date can sometimes ensure your event will not have enough participants.

* Assume something will go wrong and have a plan. Nothing ever goes as perfect as it’s planned.

* Don’t try to do it all yourself, enlist some help

* If you’re not sure hire a professional

I had the pleasure of hosting my own event this past week. I played hostess, was the center of attention, and was the event planner as well. Things could have gone horribly wrong with me trying to do all those things. They didn’t it was a great event, but I learned my lesson the hard way. Just as doctors shouldn’t self diagnose, event planners should hire others to do their events for them.

It’s Labor Day but what is Labor Day for? According to Wikipedia “Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September (September 7 in 2009).

The holiday originated in Canada out of labor disputes (“Nine-Hour Movement”) first in Hamilton, then in Toronto, Canada in the 1870s, which resulted in a Trade Union Act which legalized and protected union activity in 1872 in Canada. The parades held in support of the Nine-Hour Movement and the printers’ strike led to an annual celebration in Canada. In 1882, American labor leader Peter J. McGuire witnessed one of these labor festivals in Toronto. Inspired from Canadian events in Toronto, he returned to New York and organized the first American “labor day” on September 5 of the same year.[citation needed]

The first Labor Day in the United States was celebrated on September 5, 1882 in New York City.[1] In the aftermath of the deaths of a number of workers at the hands of the US military and US Marshals during the 1894 Pullman Strike, President Grover Cleveland put reconciliation with Labor as a top political priority. Fearing further conflict, legislation making Labor Day a national holiday was rushed through Congress unanimously and signed into law a mere six days after the end of the strike.”

I say its a celebration of every worker that has to put up with a “boss”. It’s our one day to say Hey we value you! Yes we all work or have worked for hte money we have and the paychecks we receive but its mostly working stiffs that make this country run daily not the politians that think they do. 😉

Keep up the good work and enjoy your Labor Day !!!

Forgiven?

Its very difficult when someone you think is a friend does something you don’t like, especially when its to you or about you. So how far do you go to forgive? How much forgiveness is there?

Let me start by saying forgiveness is not usually really about the other person, its about you. It’s about you letting go of a grudge, hurt feelings, anger, disappointment etc… It is not about whether they tried to make amends, apologized for what they did/said or how they handled anything.

The reason forgiveness is for you and not the ohter person is simple. If you harbor a grudge, hold on to the anger, etc. you’re letting the other person control you. You’re letting the other person dictate how you feel, what you do, how to act but if you chose to forgive, and yes its a choice, to let it go and forgive. So when someone does anything that needs to be forgiven for remember this word:

letitgo….

Donkey or Wild Steed

Are you a Donkey or a Wild Steed?

…think carefully now

What is your word worth?

What Makes It Happen

Ever notice how you go to several events and one seems to come to memory more than the others. Why is that? Well it had nothing to do with how alcohol you drank…it probably had to do with the music.
It is amazing how music can just change and uplift an event like nothing else. Music has the ability to connect to the listener at an emotional and sub-conscious level. The rhythms can reach right into primitive sections of the brain and trigger responses that are positive or negative. Background music especially can set the right tone for locations and events. A good disc-jockey can play music to the crowd and find the right balance to touch the audience.
Ever notice how seated at a restaurant, you can have a conversation with your table mates and not feel as though the whole place is tuning into your conversation? Music in the background can give a sense of intimacy that drowns out other conversations.
Our Disc-jokey says that he can usually tell if guests are enjoying the music just by watching them even if no one is dancing. Looking over the crowd he can see people tapping their hands and or feet. Sometimes even the occasional person mouthing the words to the song. These are all tell-tale signs that the music is having an impact.

So if you want to make your event whether it is a simple open house or some kind of meet and greet, music can make it happen and raise the event to a new level that the attendees did not expect and will talk about days later.

Meeting Etiquette

I attend quite a few business meetings, conferences and the like. The past few I’ve been to have rocked my socks. Not only for the content given and things learned but for the absolute disregard for meeting etiquette. Therefore, because I can, I will list the “rules” as I believe them to be from both an event planner’s point of view and an attendee’s. Please chime in and give me your opinion of one or all of these.

1) Be on time. – 5 minutes early is probably best but walking into a meeting late is, in my opinion, disruptive and rude. Yes I know sometimes it can’t be helped; I get it, I am not perfect; I am late sometimes too, but show the individuals responsible for the meeting, speaker, etc. that you’re respectful.
2) Sit quietly and give your attention to the moderator/speaker. Obviously if you’re sitting next to a friend you’re going to want to talk, compare notes and so on. If you do so, do it quietly…barely a whisper so as not to disrupt those around you.
3) Turn off your cell phone/PDA. Yes I said OFF! That means no texting, emailing, updating your calendar or chatting on the phone. The past conference I went to I had the wonderful fortune of sitting next to an attendee who slept, at least until his texts or emails were returned then he was texting or emailing, then back to the doze position.
4) If you need to visit the restrooms or get refreshments, do so quietly. Try not to disrupt the entire conference and please don’t announce that you’re going to the restroom.
5) Do not leave early, especially if you’ve paid for the event. Why would you waste your money and time by only attending half of what you obviously thought was important enough to pay to go to?
6) No sleeping !!! I realize sometimes we pay to attend a conference and the keynote speaker is not what we expected and we let our mind wander, and doze off. If you have a tendency to do that sit in the back of the room and please do not snore. I’d rather you left early to be honest, it’s a much less rude violation of etiquette.

Bottom line is: Why did you pay to attend this meeting? Did you pay to have a room to use your phone? Did you pay to take a nap? Did you pay to only hear half of what was given? Probably not. The kicker is neither did anyone else. However if you’re the one doing the texting, snoring etc.. you’re distracting them too. Be respectful, protect your reputation from being rude and practice good meeting etiquette.

They said what…

Called your piece of art junk did they? Oh, no…they did not just call you a liar? Told you that you’re an ineffective presenter? Bashed your book?

What do you do when criticized? Do you blow up? Fly off the handle? Get indignant? What is the proper response?
Flying off the handle, getting defensive and wanting to go on the attack are the knee jerk reactions to all criticism. It always seems hurtful, untrue and like being picked on back in grade school to those on the receiving end. There are, however, several ways to handle the criticism without making it worse by flying off the handle.
1.) Take a deep breath before speaking. Let the person have their say and then think before you speak. You don’t want to say anything that will come across as negative, hurtful or make you look rude… protect that rep! You don’t want to add fuel to the fire so count to at least 10, formulate what you’re going to say before you say it, even if it takes a while.
2.) Take the constructive parts (if there are any) to the criticism and see if you can put them into practice. Sometimes there are little nuggets of help in what is being said, though it may have been said in an incorrect way. For example if after changing my hair color to purple someone said “Oh My God what did you do to your hair?” I can probably safely assume they didn’t like it and that purple is not a good color for me. However if they were to say: “I preferred the color it was before” I still know they don’t like the hair color but it’s a better way to say it.
3.) Sometimes it is not about you. It’s about them and how hurt, angry frustrated or jealous they are. In those cases I have one word for you “forgetaboutit” … or “letitgo” … Remember if you respond immediately you might make things worse and turn things into a full blown argument so go back to #1.
4.) If you have time before responding make sure you’ve eaten and are well rested. I know if I haven’t eaten I am more likely to respond in a negative way to things that are said and that happen rather than when I’m not. Eat, sleep on it then respond if time permits.
5.) Do not respond in email. So much is lost in email, texting, etc. I believe (don’t quote me though) that statistics say that 8% of communication is the words used and that 92% are tone, body language, and facial expressions. Also as a rule never put in an email what you would not want printed on the front page of the local newspaper. Once you send out an email, you have no idea who will see it after the intended person receives it.
These are my top 5 ways to handle criticism. In Summary: Don’t take it to personally. I know the negative words stick with us and that the negative is so much easier to believe, but it is more than likely not right, after all it is just one person’s opinion.

Questions?

I’ve heard time and time again how the only stupid question is an unasked question. I have to say that I believe it to be true. So why are we afraid to ask questions?

We’re afraid to ask questions for several reasons, one of which is looking inadequate. If everyone else understands and I do not that must make me look stupid. I must really be dumb not to ‘get it’ when everyone else does. I remember a few years ago my daughter, Katrina, then a freshman in high school coming home flustered that she couldn’t do her homework because she didn’t understand how the math problems were solved.
“Didn’t the teacher explain it to you” I asked
“Yes, but I didn’t understand” she replied
“Why didn’t you ask her to explain it again?” I queried
“WHAT… and be the only one who didn’t get it? Mom do you want me to look stupid?”

After chuckling to myself I tried with all my mom skills to explain that asking a question doesn’t make you look stupid. I was unsuccessful, and she refused the rest of the year to ask questions in math so how she received that A is beyond me.

As a matter of fact, just this week I received an email stating that someone I was working with didn’t understand but “didn’t want to waste anyone’s time by asking questions.” Waste time? Isn’t it more wasteful to have misconceptions, misunderstanding and miscommunications? Isn’t it more time consuming to have to rehash all of those misses than to ask upfront for clarification?

I believe it is. I am an inquistive person by nature, I am a detailed person so I”m always asking, okay did you.. have you.. could we.. does this mean.. does that mean..

I guess the bottom line is don’t worry about looking stupid asking questions, ask! Ask! and ask again! Save yourself time, hassles and headaches by asking what you need to know.